the here for the there

This was composed in my little purple journal quite some months ago... the purple one sure did replace the brown one quick and in a fervour of writerly excitement (or should that be 'excrement'?), but has now relaxed, opting instead to be filled at a snail's pace, while i rejuvenate for exams. (Or as much as rejuvenation during exams is possible, which is close to nil. How about, while I 'bludge' for exams.) It is about the splitting of identities when one has two different homes, and when one finds it hard to choose between the places. Enjoy!

To cry from a distance. To pine at a song.
To dream from a hope. To ache in the body.
To shake from the cold. To quiver, down to nothing.
To spare the somniloquy. To retch at sentiment.
To expand beyond the self. To abandon bodily confines, while reaching out, and with mind-fibres, touching another place.
To weep without knowing.
To be mesmerised by pulsing stripes. To let the tiger go.
To know a question, and to hold it. To craft a response that in the end cannot be real, can it? To pass it off. To wait for later. To shock oneself.
To needlessly fight! To paint barriers as cold as winter, but without the rage, without the passion of the wind up the valley.
To set sail. To set sail with things still to do on the mainland.
To fly (and then some). To crap on about a home.
To be away from you. To leave you again.
To forget.